


Paper Flowers

by theclaravoyant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Love, hallucination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclaravoyant/pseuds/theclaravoyant
Summary: "Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream." - EuripidesThe Doctor is badly injured and during her recovery she has a special visitor... or does she?





	Paper Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> It seems my love for Doctor Who fic has returned and long story short I was prompted to write a fic based on the opening lines of [Imaginary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odatDWByonw) by Evanescence.
> 
> I am happy to accept prompts/suggestions as well (here or on tumblr @theclaravoyant) but please keep in mind that I'm still getting back into writing for this fandom/what I like to write etc and that I'm also quite busy at the moment, so please be patient!

_I linger in the doorway_  
_of alarm clocks screaming, monsters calling my name_  
_Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me_  
_Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

_-_

Like a plane that’s been shot from the air, she feels one of her hearts fail, and stumbles. The other is doing its best, but she gasps for breath as the edges of the world begin to fall in around her.

“Are you alright?” Yaz asks, frowning. Ryan, still a little breathless from their flight, looks back the way they have come.

“I think it got her!” he exclaims.

The Doctor grasps at the wall, it’s damp and wet and hot and fuzzy and time and space slide through her brain. Ryan and Graham run toward her, calling out, and she can hear Yaz is busy with something. Calling an ambulance? Is the creature still coming? Do they have time, are they safe? Where’s the Tardis..?

She slumps in a heap of coat and boot and Doctor on the floor, and the world is dark.

-

When the sun peeks in again, it is through a hazy halo of golden curls. A familiar face smiles down at her. River brushes a lock of hair from the Doctor’s face.

“You never could stay out of trouble, could you?” she muses fondly. “Ah - stay still. You’re not well, my love. I think it’s poison.”

The Doctor can’t tell if she’s tried to move yet or not. Can’t tell where she is. All she can think is  _River, River…_

“Don’t speak,” River instructs, firmly, but as gently as she can. “Save your energy. You’re just barely not regenerating, and I don’t think your friends are ready for that shock yet.”

The Doctor tries to nod, but her mouth is dry and her limbs are heavy. She’s not even sure she has a tongue, until River leans over and softly presses it with a kiss.

“Stay with me, Doctor,” she insists.

 _I want to,_ the Doctor thinks, but her lips will not form the words. Her eyelids are heavy, and even though she is pushing the impending realisation away she doesn’t want to let go. She can’t let River fade again. She can’t let those ocean eyes, so full of love and pain, be torn from her again. But she can’t raise her hand to reach for River. She can’t tell where they are, or where they are not. She can’t hold on. The air is sweet and the poison is strong, and River’s voice begins to warp and bend as sleep pulls her away again.

-

This time when the Doctor wakes, it is with a sharp intake of breath and the urge to gag, as her senses are seized by something which is supposed to be lemon but clearly is not. She jolts, and her eyes fly open to the sight of harsh hospital fluorescents, and to a frowning Ryan, who raises his eyebrows and smiles at the sight of her.

“River…“ The name spills from her lips in a breath before she can think about it.

“You gave us a scare there, Doctor,” Ryan says. “Are you okay? What’s ‘river’?”

“Who,” the Doctor corrects. “She’s my- she said - she’s s’posed to be here.”

Ryan looks over his shoulder, and shakes his head.

“Sorry. Just me, Yaz and Graham. Graham’s gone to track down the tea lady. Yaz’s arguing with the staff trying to keep people out of here. Something about confidentiality. She’s doing pretty good.”

Ordinarily, the Doctor would smile about that. She files it away to be proud of later, frowning as she studies the hospital room and wonders how she could have let herself ever believe she was… wherever she thought she’d been. Wishful thinking, she supposed, could be one hell of a drug.

Then Ryan pulls up a chair. He can see the struggle on her face even if he can’t understand it, so he’s gentle when he asks again -

“Who’s River?”

Through the confusion and denial seeps the pain, and the Doctor is aware of both her hearts beating again because of just how much it hurts. She remembers Darillium, she remembers the Library, she remembers River’s lips pressed against hers as lightly as a dream and tears prick at her eyes when she is forced to realise that these are all memories. All dead and gone now. She sinks back into the bed, wishing she could disappear into the downy pillow and run away again. Instead, she settles for closing her eyes for one more glorious moment of almost-timelessness.

“No one,” she says. “It doesn’t matter.”

Ryan doesn’t believe her, but she doesn’t need to know that, and so he keeps silent since she clearly doesn’t want to talk. He wonders what else he should do - perhaps she’d like some water? - but fortunately Graham arrives with a triad of canteen cups, teabag strings trailing from them, and Yaz trails him into the room. Both of them smile to see the Doctor awake, but Yaz’s is quick to fade when she sees the evidence of the Doctor’s unusually dark mood. Graham’s smile changes, too, becoming a little softer and more sympathetic as he takes tea to the Doctor.

“Come help me fix these pillows, Ryan,” he suggests, helping the Doctor to a more upright position. “There you are, get some tea into you, Doctor. It’s gonna be alright now, hey?”

The Doctor presses her lips together and takes the tea. She’s not ready to make more words yet. She’s not sure how much she wants to explain.

Graham is not too fazed by this - or at least, is making an effort not to seem so - and he reaches into the pocket of his coat with a fatherly twinkle in his eye and retrieves a yellow jelly cup which he presents to her.

“Found this for you too,” he offers. “Pineapple, I think. Thought you might like it. Hospitals can be right nasty places, but they have good jelly. That’s for sure and certain.”

The Doctor shakes the cup, and watches the bright yellow substance as it shakes. She smiles - still a little weaker than she’d like, but it’s a start.

“Thank you, Graham,” she says, and nods to Yaz and Ryan too. “All of you must have been very clever. Tell me about it. I want to hear everything.”


End file.
